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7 Cars You Shouldn't Tell Your Pastor You're Buying


1. 1971-72 Dodge Demon

1971 Dodge Demon 4Sale in Wentzville

In model year 1971 Chrysler Corporation gave Dodge dealerships a badge-engineered version of the popular Plymouth Duster. Based on the Dodge Dart, it was called the Dodge Demon, and it even included a little "Demon" badge with a picture of a devil carrying a pitchfork.

1971 Dodge Demon Emblem

Christian groups complained, sales were much lower than the Duster and Dodge pulled the devil off the badges for 1972 and then cancelled the model for 1973. Its replacement was simply called the Dodge Dart Sport.

So what other models should you avoid to stay on the right side of God or at least your pastor and/or his wife?

2. 2018 Dodge Challenger SRT Demon

Dodge Challenger SRT Demon

Okay, this one is even easier. For 2018, Dodge made a track monster. It doesn't even include any passenger seats. So in addition to involving a demon, the Demon is not a good, practical family car. Install the track crate and this car isn't even street legal. If you're pastor is more progressive, then the 13 MPG city fuel mileage will probably get him even madder. Like the previous Demon, it's days were numbered; it was only built during model year 2018.

The little devil guy on the side should've tipped you off.

3. Diablo

Lamborghini Diablo from (c) Ivan Kamzyst

This car is for the selfish, vain, and egotistical. It is bad stewardship, plain and simple. And of course: named for the devil. Actually, named for a bull that was named for the devil.

4. Aztek

2001 Pontiac Aztek

A car named after a people that once purportedly sacrificed over 80,000 people to consecrate a temple. And how rude, they even misspelled it. Ripping the beating hearts out of virgins is one thing, but the present popularity of the Aztek is driven by Walter White: drug dealer, murderer. Shame on you.

5. Escort

1988 Ford Escort GT 

"I'm getting an Escort!"

"No you're not! Harold, call the elders!!"

But, there's this black Escort..."

"Holy Water! Lots!"

6. Hellcat

2019 Dodge Challenger Redeye at 2019 CAS

If the 707 to 717 horsepower is not gluttony, well, it's got the H-e-double hockey sticks right in the name. Just stop it. Anyway, this is the 2019 Dodge Challenger Redeye with 797 horsepower. Still not enough to escape the gates of you-know-where.

7. (Dart) Swinger

1971 Dodge Dart Swinger

A part of the 60's sexual revolution that is mostly forgotten was the wife-swapping and other related debauchery. Dodge supported this madness with a model called the "Swinger." Your pastor wouldn't really want you to buy that, would he?

Bonus: Hummer

2005 Hummer H2 file photo

'Nough said.

For Our Canadian Friends: 2019 Buick LaCrosse

Buick LaCrosse

They'll tell you why.


 Mad Pastor


By the way, the 1971 Dodge Demon almost wasn't called the "Demon." Chrysler's first choice: the Dodge Beaver. That is if you can believe those heathens at Wikipedia.


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